Seven Windows, One Person

Six frameworks and one diagnostic lens. One person. What does each one hear?

The voice
Part of me wants to reach out, but something inside holds me back — like there's a guard at the door who won't let me through. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere, like someone actually sees me. But people always leave eventually. It's always been this way, even when I was little — I learned early that needing people was dangerous. When I think about opening up, my chest gets tight and I go kind of numb, like my body just shuts the whole thing down before I can even try. I know it doesn't make sense — I have people in my life who care. But I can't stop pulling away. There's this longing underneath all of it, but the moment I get close to it, everything freezes. I tell myself I'm fine alone, but I don't think that's really true.
Choose a lens
Internal Family Systems
What this lens sees
A protector part (the "guard at the door") blocking access to a vulnerable exile. The pull-away behavior is a Manager keeping the system safe. The longing belongs to an Exile carrying unmet childhood need.
What it hears
"Part of me… something holds me back" — textbook parts language. Two distinct voices: one that wants connection, one that prevents it. Not confusion — multiplicity.
Intervention direction
Help the client access Self-energy. Get curious about the protector: What is it afraid would happen if it let you reach out? Eventually, witness the Exile's pain so the protector can relax.
Focuses on: Internal parts & their relationships
Works through: Intrapsychic witnessing
Lichtenberg Motivational Systems
What this lens sees
A starving attachment/affiliation system ("I want to belong") with a chronically activated aversive system suppressing it. Exploration is shut down. The motivational landscape is tilted — longing high, approach capacity low.
What it hears
"I just want to feel like I belong" — a direct statement of unmet need across at least two motivational systems (attachment + affiliation). The breadth of the longing suggests no single framework captures it; the need is wide.
Intervention direction
Provide the relational experience that was developmentally missed. Be consistently interested, curious, non-punishing. The therapist IS the corrective input — not through technique, but through reliable attunement.
Focuses on: The full landscape of unmet needs
Works through: Corrective relational experience
Polyvagal Theory
What this lens sees
A nervous system toggling between sympathetic activation (chest tightness) and dorsal vagal shutdown (going numb). The social engagement system (ventral vagal) can't come online — neuroception reads connection as danger.
What it hears
"My chest gets tight and I go kind of numb" — a classic sympathetic-to-dorsal cascade. The body shuts down before cognition can intervene. This isn't a choice; it's an autonomic reflex.
Intervention direction
Co-regulation first. Prosodic voice, calm presence, no demand to "process." Breathwork and somatic resourcing to widen the ventral vagal window. Nothing else works until the body feels safe.
Focuses on: Autonomic nervous system state
Works through: Co-regulation & somatic safety
Narrative Therapy
What this lens sees
A dominant story running on repeat: "People leave. I've always been alone. Needing is dangerous." The problem-saturated narrative has colonized identity — it crowds out moments when connection did work.
What it hears
"It's always been this way" and "people always leave" — absolute, totalizing language that fuses person with problem. Also: "I tell myself I'm fine alone, but I don't think that's really true" — a sparkling moment. A crack in the dominant story.
Intervention direction
Externalize the problem: When did "The Pulling Away" first show up in your life? Map its influence, then hunt for unique outcomes — times the person connected despite it. Build a preferred story from those moments.
Focuses on: The dominant narrative & identity
Works through: Linguistic re-authoring
Attachment Theory
What this lens sees
A dismissive-avoidant working model: "I am not safe needing others" (self-schema) + "Others will leave" (other-schema). The pull-away is a deactivating strategy — suppress attachment needs to preempt abandonment pain.
What it hears
"People always leave" — the other-model, spoken plainly. "Part of me wants to reach out" — the attachment system is still active beneath the deactivation. The longing-then-freezing cycle is approach-avoidance oscillation.
Intervention direction
Provide consistent, reliable responsiveness over time. Don't push for closeness — let the client set the distance while demonstrating that the therapist stays. Earned security accumulates through repeated rupture-and-repair.
Focuses on: Relational blueprint (working model)
Works through: Consistent safe relating
Coherence Therapy
What this lens sees
A specific emotional truth generating a coherent symptom: "Needing people is dangerous" → withdrawal is the perfectly logical response. The symptom isn't a malfunction — it makes sense given the implicit belief.
What it hears
"I know it doesn't make sense — but I can't stop" — the signature of an emotional truth that rational knowledge can't override. Two memory systems running in parallel: one knows people care, the other knows needing is dangerous. The gap between them is the problem.
Intervention direction
Surface the emotional truth explicitly: "So it sounds like deep down, something in you learned that needing people leads to pain — and pulling away is how you stay safe." Then engineer a juxtaposition — a felt experience that vividly contradicts the belief within the reconsolidation window.
Focuses on: The symptom-generating belief
Works through: Memory reconsolidation
DSM-5-TR (Diagnostic Lens)
What this lens sees
Symptom clusters mapping to possible diagnostic categories: somatic complaints (chest tightness, numbness), social withdrawal, persistent interpersonal dysfunction, and compulsive avoidance behavior. A clinician might flag criteria for Major Depressive Episode, Social Anxiety Disorder, or Avoidant Personality features.
What it hears
"My chest gets tight and I go numb" — somatic symptom criteria. "People always leave" — interpersonal dysfunction. "I can't stop pulling away" — compulsive avoidance. "I'm fine alone" — withdrawal consistent with depressive criteria. The DSM hears duration, severity, and functional impairment — not meaning.
Intervention direction
Pharmacological intervention (SSRI for depressive/anxiety features), possibly CBT referral for behavioral activation and cognitive restructuring. The treatment follows the diagnosis: label → protocol → medication. What's missing: why the symptom exists, what it protects, who it's about.
What DSM doesn't see
Environmental context, meaning-making, protective function of the withdrawal, relational dynamics driving the pattern, developmental history as resource (not just risk factor). The DSM draws the tightest boundary — individual symptoms severed from everything that gives them sense.
Focuses on: Symptom classification
Works through: Pharmacological correction
All seven lenses — simultaneously
IFS
Lichtenberg
Polyvagal
Narrative
Attachment
Coherence
DSM

Tap any label to highlight its boundary

person Lichtenberg all needs + environment IFS Attachment Narrative Polyvagal nervous system Coherence one belief DSM symptoms only Each boundary selects a different system-of-interest from the same person. Change the boundary, change what you see.
Same person, three different offices
DSM CLINICIAN
Runs a structured interview. Checks symptom duration (2+ weeks?), severity (functional impairment?), frequency. Writes: "R/O MDD, single episode; GAD features; avoidant personality traits." Prescribes an SSRI. Schedules a 15-minute med check in 4 weeks. The withdrawal, the longing, the guard at the door — none of that enters the chart.
IFS THERAPIST
Asks: "Can we get curious about the part that holds you back — the guard at the door? What is it afraid would happen if it stepped aside?" No diagnosis. No medication. The first 10 minutes are about building a relationship with the protector, not labeling it.
POLYVAGAL-INFORMED SOMATIC THERAPIST
Notices the chest tightness and numbness before asking a single question. Slows their voice. Offers a long exhale together. Asks: "What does your body need right now to feel safe enough to be here?" The words matter less than the co-regulation happening in the room.
The 8-tuple — how every lens answers the same eight questions

Click any row to see what each framework puts in that slot.

C Components — what's inside the boundary (the parts each lens names) +
IFS Self (core awareness), Exiles (wounded parts), Managers (proactive protectors), Firefighters (reactive protectors)
Lichtenberg 7 motivational systems: physiological regulation, attachment, affiliation, caregiving, exploration, sensuality, aversion
Polyvagal Three circuits: ventral vagal (social engagement), sympathetic (fight/flight), dorsal vagal (shutdown/freeze)
Narrative The dominant story, suppressed alternative narratives, sparkling moments (unique outcomes), the preferred story
Attachment Coupled schemas: self-model (am I worthy?) + other-model (are others reliable?) producing 4 patterns
Coherence Three elements: the emotional truth (implicit belief), the symptom it generates, and disconfirming rational knowledge
DSM Symptom clusters, neurotransmitter levels, behavioral markers — observable, countable, classifiable
N Network — how the parts connect to each other +
IFS Protection topology: Managers guard Exiles, Firefighters activate when Managers fail. Parts form alliances and polarizations
Lichtenberg Dense mutual modulation — every system influences every other. High aversion suppresses exploration; strong attachment enables it
Polyvagal Strict phylogenetic hierarchy: ventral inhibits sympathetic; when ventral fails, sympathetic dominates; when overwhelmed, dorsal takes over
Narrative Self-reinforcing loop: dominant story → identity → behavior → confirmation of story. Alternative stories suppressed
Attachment Tight feedback pair: anxiety about other → unworthiness → protest behavior → other withdraws → confirms both models
Coherence Parallel non-communicating circuits — emotional truth and rational knowledge exist in separate memory systems. The gap is the pathology
DSM Classification tree: symptoms → disorder → treatment protocol. Top-down, not relational — components don't "talk to each other," they get sorted
E Environment — what each lens leaves out +
IFS External events, relationships, triggering situations, the therapeutic relationship, cultural/family systems
Lichtenberg The relational field, bodily states, social context, objects of curiosity — 7 systems means 7 channels of environmental input
Polyvagal Safety and danger cues: facial expressions, vocal prosody, proximity, environmental sounds — processed before cognition
Narrative Social audience, cultural discourses, family myths, diagnostic labels, other people's stories — who witnesses and validates
Attachment Attachment figures: primary caregivers, romantic partners, close friends, therapist. Specifically relational, not situational
Coherence Life situations that activate the emotional truth; the therapeutic context that enables juxtaposition
DSM Largely absent — environment treated as "stressor" or "trigger," not constituent. Social determinants acknowledged but not modeled
G Gateway — how information gets in and out (the intake channel) +
IFS Out: Parts express as behavior (perfectionism, bingeing). In: Events cross as triggers; therapist presence crosses as co-regulatory signal
Lichtenberg Out: Needs express as relational bids. In: Attunement or frustration of each system. Widest interface — 7 channels
Polyvagal Out: Facial muscles, voice, heart rate variability. In: Neuroceptive cues shift autonomic state directly, below awareness
Narrative Out: Stories performed to others. In: Audience response thickens or loosens the narrative. Fundamentally social and linguistic
Attachment Out: Proximity-seeking, protest, deactivation. In: Caregiver responsiveness accumulates into earned security
Coherence Out: Symptom manifests as avoidance, reactivity. In: Disconfirming experiences bounce off implicit memory — unless delivered during reconsolidation
DSM In: Clinical interview + standardized assessment instruments (PHQ-9, GAD-7). Out: Diagnosis code, treatment plan, insurance justification
B Boundary — where each lens draws the line (what counts as "in") +
IFS The psyche — the totality of the internal system. Explicitly intrapsychic; the boundary is the skin between "my parts" and "the world"
Lichtenberg Total motivational architecture — all 7 systems as a whole. Widest boundary. Claims to encompass all motivated behavior
Polyvagal The autonomic nervous system — vagal pathways and target organs. Narrow and physiologically precise
Narrative Narrative identity — the semiotic construction of self. Not the body, not the psyche, but the story
Attachment The attachment system — the internal working model. Narrower than LLF, broader than Coherence
Coherence One specific emotional truth generating one specific symptom. Narrowest boundary — it zooms in on a single schema-symptom pair
DSM Individual brain/behavior — the tightest boundary of all seven lenses. No relational field, no meaning, no developmental function. Just the person's symptoms
T Time — how far back and how fast each lens looks +
IFS Dual: developmental time (when parts formed, typically childhood) + therapeutic time (unburdening pace — sessions to months)
Lichtenberg Developmental (compensatory patterns from childhood) + moment-to-moment (which systems are foregrounded right now shifts continuously)
Polyvagal Milliseconds (neuroception) → minutes (state shifts) → years (chronic autonomic patterning). Fastest time scales of any framework
Narrative Biographical time — the story spans past, present, and projected future as a unified arc. Always about sequence, causation, trajectory
Attachment First years critical (sensitive periods) + lifespan relational updating. Strange Situation captures minutes; patterns span decades
Coherence Two precise moments: the formative event (when the belief was learned) + the reconsolidation window (~5 hours after retrieval, when memory is labile)
DSM Cross-sectional snapshot + minimum duration criteria (e.g., "2 weeks" for depression, "6 months" for GAD). Time measured in checkbox thresholds, not developmental arcs
H History — what the system remembers (and what it forgets) +
IFS Distributed: each part carries frozen burdens — memories, beliefs, somatic sensations from formative experiences. History IS the pathology
Lichtenberg Compensatory patterns: which systems were met, which starved. History shows as the shape of the motivational landscape
Polyvagal Autonomic patterns: chronic state biases — habitual dorsal shutdown or sympathetic hypervigilance. History lives in the body, not narrative
Narrative The narrative itself IS history — one version has crowded out others. Not objective but constructed, and reconstructable
Attachment Implicit relational blueprints: accumulated caregiver responsiveness patterns, encoded below awareness. You don't "know" your style — you enact it
Coherence One singular formative learning event that set the schema. The symptom is the history, still running
DSM Family history of mental illness (genetic risk), not developmental meaning-making. History is a checklist of diagnoses in relatives, not a story
Δ Transformation — the bet each lens makes on what actually heals +
IFS Unburdening: Self witnesses Exile's pain → Exile releases frozen belief → Protectors relax. A structural network change, not just flow adjustment
Lichtenberg Corrective relational experience: provide what was developmentally missed. Not insight — actual new experiences that rewire felt sense
Polyvagal Ventral vagal activation through co-regulation, breathwork, safe engagement. Claims primacy: regulate first, then everything else becomes possible
Narrative Externalize the problem, map its influence, find unique outcomes, build a preferred story, perform it to a witnessing audience
Attachment Earned security: consistent responsiveness + mentalization + coherent autobiographical narrative. Slow, relational, accumulated
Coherence Juxtaposition: retrieve the emotional truth, introduce vivid felt contradiction while it's active, hold both → synaptic-level memory reconsolidation
DSM Symptom reduction/remission via medication; "disorder management" not growth. Success = fewer symptoms on a scale, not deeper understanding or relational change

Systems science isn't another framework competing for attention. It's the formal language that shows you why each lens works — what boundary it draws, what network it posits, what transformation it bets on.

Notice how DSM draws the tightest boundary of all — just the individual's symptoms, severed from environment, meaning, and relationship. The other six frameworks all include something DSM excludes. Systems science shows you what each excludes and why that matters.

The same eight questions work for every lens. The accordion above shows exactly how. Change the boundary, change what you see.

DSM isn't wrong — it's necessary for extreme cases where the psyche is so fragmented that frameworks assuming a coherent Self can't reach. But it was never designed to be the only lens.

At a glance
Framework Focuses on Works through Best when…
IFS Internal parts & protectors Intrapsychic witnessing Internal conflict, self-criticism, contradictory impulses
Lichtenberg Motivational needs Corrective relational experience Longing, relational hunger, no single trigger
Polyvagal Autonomic nervous system Co-regulation & somatic safety Shutdown, overwhelm, panic, dissociation
Narrative Dominant story & identity Linguistic re-authoring "Always," "never," "that's just who I am"
Attachment Internal working model Consistent safe relating Repeating relational patterns
Coherence Symptom-generating belief Memory reconsolidation "I know X but can't stop doing Y"
DSM Symptom classification Pharmacological correction Extreme disintegration, triage, shared clinical language